Clouded Memories: A FFVII Novelisation
by Defenestrator
Summary: A labour of love for a friend who is working hard to recover. I hope that you'll also be able to enjoy the wonderful story that is FF7, told from Cloud's POV. BASED ON ORIGINAL FF7 GAME ONLY!
1. Prologue

**A/N:** I know there are many novelisations out there, but this is for a close friend of mine who loves a good story, yet isn't interested in gaming. You know who you are! FF7's story is definitely one of the greatest classics of all time, and I hope to do it justice. :)

* * *

**Prologue**

A solar system of stars penetrated the inky blackness of the night. They shone down over the entire world – even Midgar, the Shinra company's response to the natural world. A gleaming metal monstrosity, its circular design enclosed the city, protecting its citizens from the terror known as Mother Nature. Power reactors, clearly numbered and placed at regular intervals around the circumference, churned out their green, eerily-glowing product, as witnessed by the smoke rising ponderously towards the atmosphere. Directed to the centre of the giant circle, the glow settled around the giant structure towering over the rest of the city. Tiny particles broke away, drifting into the air like fireflies, illuminating…

…the peaceful smile on the girl's face did not falter as she stood, turning away from the glow. Her long brown hair, though straight at the back, fell in two perfect curls on either side of her face, coming to rest on the front of her closely-cut pink dress. A basket hung off her left arm, containing flowers that looked woefully out of place in the industrialized environment. The noise of the fully mechanised city, from the buildings to the people around her, still unnerved her to this day. She picked out a flower and held it up to her face. Taking a deep breath of the smell that never failed to calm her, the girl walked out confidently onto the pavement. Her precious basket of goods she offered with a gentle smile to the impatient workers and the implacable flow of traffic, pounding away on the large plate over…

…The well-built young man stumbled off the train, eyes vacant and with no sense of purpose in his bearing. He didn't know how long he'd been riding the trains for, going randomly from station to station. He didn't even know who he was, or what exactly he was doing here. All he knew was that this city was where he had to be, and that the large sword strapped tightly to his back was the most important thing he owned – more important that life itself. He wandered vaguely through the crowd of people thronging from the station, when a familiar face caught his eye. The man stopped, turning to stare at the pair of luminous brown eyes framed by long, dark hair. Unable, and suddenly, not wanting to place the name, he turned away, only to be stopped by a tug on his arm and an incredulous voice.

"…Cloud? Is that you?"


	2. The Station

The train ground to a halt, greeting the station with fireworks of sparks. The tension inside the carriage was palpable, nervousness almost visibly staining the air. It swirled and eddied like the tide, and carried these particular passengers with it. All except one who sat with a bored look on his face, around whom the flow parted, then rejoined. Cloud Strife, mercenary and a 'protector of the Planet' for the night, pointedly ignored the others. In truth, he was more concerned about the size of his pay than the goal of the mission. It was not that he was unreliable; he had every intention of getting the job done, and well, to show this green group how professionals worked. It was simply that he found their cause futile, and therefore pointless.

So he continued to sit silently as two of the members, in an obvious attempt to show off, clambered through the roof and onto the platform. As they engaged with the soldiers outside, he ignored the suspicious scrutiny of the remaining passenger, the leader of this group, AVALANCHE. A dark-skinned and heavily-muscled man, Barret was clearly itching to be outside as well. As the sound of violence faded away, he nodded to the signal from outside, and stood up.

Motioning to Cloud, he growled, "C'mon, newcomer," then disappeared out the door.

Cloud snorted to himself. Newcomer indeed. Did this brute even appreciate Cloud's experience in SOLDIER, the elite fighting unit of Shinra? He found it ironic, though, that all that training would be used against it tonight. Rising from the seat, the childish impulse not to let any of the others outshine him rose strongly. Before he could suppress it, as he normally did, he found himself through the roof and on the platform, accomplishing it much more gracefully than the other two, he was sure. Looking around the empty station, a small part of him complained that no one else was around to see, although mostly he was grateful no one had noticed his little lapse.

A sudden pound of footsteps from the entrance's stairway had him drawing his sword, holding it at the ready. His training, long past though it was, still caused his body to react instinctively. Everything now was instinct. The feint of the sword, the block, the shift of his feet before the attack from another angle – the killing blow. There was no need to think, no need to consider his action. He simply acted, acted to shield himself from the onslaught, acted to survive intact. It wasn't long before the way was clear, the bodies behind him where he couldn't see. He didn't bother to cleanse his sword of the blood – it would see a lot more before the night was through. Other than the sound of the steel against sheath, the night was silent as Cloud ascended the stairs.

**A/N**: Another short chapter. But the way this is going, it seems this novelisation will be made up of many, many (and I mean many!) short chapters. Not only does it make it more palatable, it means I'll actually release something more than once every few months! Thanks to Alucius and Clockwork Butterfly for the reviews, they're muchly appreciated! And a shout out to PactumServa, for whom this is written. :)


	3. Through the Gate

Cloud emerged from the station, walking briskly down the main road leading to the reactor compound. Tall, rusted lamp posts lined the sides, each claiming its own small circle of pavement, none close enough to share. They were the only source of light, as overhead, the looming silhouette of the lone reactor blotted out the stars. At the base of the shadow, he could make out three figures huddled under a spotlight, insignificant by comparison.

As he approached, three heads turned from the imposing gate at the entrance to regard him. Under the unnatural florescent lighting, the shadows on their faces were greatly pronounced, lending an almost-ghastly cast to their expressions. Keeping himself out of the pool of light, Cloud crossed his arms, waiting impassively for them to finish their study of him and get back to the task at hand. It may have been that their pay was hourly, but his was a flat rate.

Then to his horror, one of the trio held out a hand, smiling. Cloud didn't move, not wanting to encourage him, but he simply withdrew it and tried another tack.

"The name's Biggs," he said, his grin distorted by the play of shadows. "I saw you fighting there, and it was amazing! I can't believe an ex-SOLDIER like you is in a small group like AVALANCHE! And the best bit is that…"

He rambled on, but Cloud had long since tuned it out, turning his attention to the reactor. The sole construct in the area, he could hear the various noises it made as it worked away alone in the darkness, never pausing for a moment.

A new voice brought his attention back to the small huddle by the gate.

"SOLDIER? Aren't they the enemy?" the girl asked suspiciously. "What's he doing with us, then? Don't go falling for him just because he can fight!"

"Hold it, Jessie," Biggs replied. "He _was_ in SOLDIER, but now he's one of us."

"Look," spoke up Cloud, annoyed at having someone saying words on his behalf, "I finished with Shinra a long time ago. But don't get me wrong, I'm not on your side, either. Once this job's finished, I'm outta here."

There was silence from them after that. They went back to their job, Jessie smiling smugly at Biggs with this confirmation of her assessment of his reliability.

Barret joined them not long after, gun-arm waving wildly in the air as he gesticulated furiously at them with his other arm.

"The hell you guys doin'?!" he demanded. "I thought I told you never to move in a group!"

Biggs looked set to retort, but then the gate slowly swung open to Jessie's triumphant exclamation.

"Our target's the North Mako Reactor," Barret instructed brusquely, as if it wasn't clear enough. "We'll meet on the bridge in front of it. Now move!"

The three were inside in short order, and Cloud started moving through as well.

Barret waved him in ahead of himself, and as Cloud passed, said to him, "Ex-SOLDIER, huh? Don't trust ya. You'll be with me."

Cloud stopped and regarded him coolly.

"Just don't get in my way," he said, then moved on.

The gate closed behind them, and the lonely clang echoed through the compound as they entered the reactor.

**A/N**: A very, very late Christmas present for PactumServa… I finally found my muse! I hope everyone who's been following this enjoyed this just as much as the previous parts – I've found it much harder with all the dialogue. And finally, thanks to Eilzel for reviewing!


	4. At the Core of things

The reactor slumbered peacefully beneath the feet of the intruders, blissfully unaware of their intentions. As they passed through, they only faced a token resistance of the weak guardbots on patrol. It seemed that Shinra was confident that no one would dare stand up to them, let alone wreak destruction on the scale this group was planning. Not that this arrogance bothered Cloud, though – the faster they could get out of here, the faster he could leave all these people behind.

Cloud kept a few steps behind the others, presumably to watch the rear, but moreso to avoid unnecessary conversation. At least there was one less member, since the round one had stayed behind to secure the escape route. Not that he was alone – Barret strode along beside him, only half his attention on the surroundings. It irritated Cloud immensely, but since – short of starting a fight – there was nothing he could do about it, he simply shut his mouth and kept walking.

They shed the other two members, both staying behind at different points to secure their escape route. Barret, however, seemed to be following him to the end. What surprised him though, was his growing respect for Barret's strength – although he still knew he could defeat the man, a strength that could handle the recoil from a machine gun arm well enough to aim accurately wasn't something to be ignored. Barret did, however, have a lot to say on the matter of the Planet – opinions which he freely aired to Cloud.

"The Planet's full of Mako energy. People here use it every day. It's the lifeblood of the Planet! But Shinra keeps suckin' that blood out with these machines. Just makes me sick thinking about it!" he ranted. "This ain't your first time in a reactor, is it?"

"No," Cloud replied testily. "I _did_ work for Shinra, y'know."

"And you know, little by little, the reactors'll drain out all the life. And that'll be that."

Cloud shrugged, not really caring about the guy's fanaticism with this cause.

"It's not my problem," he said in a tone he hoped was final.

Even then, Barret gave it one last try.

"The Planet's dyin', Cloud!"

"So? The only thing I care about is finishing this job before security and the Roboguards come."

Barret turned away, his shoulders shaking almost imperceptibly. Cloud didn't see what his problem was. He thought he'd done pretty well, considering he hadn't told the guy to shut up even once.

Barret remained uncharacteristically silent the rest of the way to the reactor core. As they reached the thin metal grille which was the sole link to the building's heart, however, a feral look came into his eyes.

"When we blow this place, this ain't gonna be nothin' more than a hunk o' junk," he growled, his face twisting into a grin.

To Cloud, it seemed like a wild animal finally let loose. Not someone he'd work with, given the choice. Curse that Tifa, why had he even listened when she was talking him into this crazy mission? He wasn't quite sure what about it had convinced him to help out with this foolhardy escapade – it was something in the way she spoke so intensely, pleading with him to go, and before his brain knew what was going on his mouth had already agreed. Something beyond what his mind alone could comprehend wouldn't let him refuse her when she asked for help.

"Cloud," Barret instructed, halting his internal reflection, "you set the bomb."

"Shouldn't you do it?" Cloud asked him, keeping the annoyance from his face. "You've got more experience with it than me."

Barret gave him a wary look.

"Jus' do it! I gotta watch to make sure you don't pull nothin'!"

"Fine, be my guest," Cloud replied shortly. As long as it shut the guy up, almost anything would be worth it.

Their footsteps on the grille echoed hollowly around the room, an eerie metallic sound that died slowly in the silence. Cloud ignored it as best he could, pretending not to feel the chill that tightened around his heart with each echo. The pathway was narrow, so they walked single file, Cloud in front. The familiar surroundings burrowed into his mind, digging for memories. They quickly began to spill out, a splash of blood here, a burning corpse there. Yet he couldn't identify when or where, or even how they linked to him, and his instincts roared to the forefront, shielding and pushing back. He was grateful that Barret couldn't see his face – he was sure it must be completely white by now, as he continued to fight the memories. Suddenly, a glimmer of green against the dull grey metal caught his eye, and without thinking, he stooped down to examine it. It was a gently glowing green sphere, warm to the touch as he cupped it in his palm. Materia. It seemed to calm his mind, and take his focus away from the surroundings, so he paused for a moment to compose himself. Barret stopped short just behind him, so he pocketed it and kept moving.

As they approached the core, Cloud could hear the humming of the reactor clearly. It had been in the background for most of the time they were in the facility, but only now, right next to it, could he hear the ebb and the flow of the Mako inside as it was drawn out from the planet. It was a peaceful, almost hypnotizing sound, but to Cloud, it seemed to possess a sinister edge. Barret held out the bomb to him, and kneeling, he carefully placed the bomb against the wall of the core. As he started to set the timer, the noise of the Mako finally clicked into place, and a memory surged past the wall of protection he'd built up. The world around him went momentarily blank, and a tantalizingly familiar voice spoke in an urgent tone.

"Watch out! This isn't just a reactor!"

But before he could identify it, suddenly everything was clear again. The reactor's hum resumed, but now Barret's approaching footsteps jarred its subtle beat. Barret was saying something, but at that moment, he couldn't hear over the echo left in his mind. He shook his head to clear it, and asked with embarrassing confusion, "Huh?"

"I said, what's wrong, Cloud! Hurry it up!" he exclaimed, his suspicions evident in his tone.

"Yeah, sorry," Cloud replied, pushing his questions away and quickly finishing it off.

He set the timer for fifteen minutes, judging it should be enough time to get everyone out, but as he pressed the button to confirm it, a siren began to wail overhead, and the room was bathed in red as the emergency lights came on.

Barret swore, his curses almost drowned out by the cacophony.

""And now we gotta fight our way out!" he continued. "They're gonna be looking for us everywhere, too!"

As if in response to his words, a giant, scorpion-shaped robot trundled up towards the pair, blocking off the connecting walkway. The two men turned to face it, and grateful to have something else to focus on, Cloud let his body shift automatically into a fighting stance, sword in hand. Barret was already firing rounds at it, a continuous rattle of metal on metal. Scared of what he might find waiting for him in his head, he used the memory of his muscles, swinging his sword as he leapt at the scorpion. He aimed for the tail, where he could see a powerful laser powering up. The rattle stopped abruptly as his sword screeched against the metal plating, sliding into the gap and slicing straight through, the force of his charge behind it. As he landed, he heard Barret yell, "Outta the way, foo'!" gun arm aimed in the direction of both him and the scorpion.

Cloud raced back to their line of offense, out of the way of most stray bullets and shrapnel. As he arrived, Barret began firing again, aiming for both the head and back that Cloud had exposed. With a final rattle, the scorpion collapsed.

Barret turned angrily to Cloud.

"Don't ever do that again, ya hear? I almost hit you 'cause you leapt in suddenly like that! Next time tell me first, got it?"

He stormed off down the walkway without waiting for an answer. Cloud stayed silent, holding down his annoyance at being lectured, and followed.


	5. Escaping the Beast

They ran. Around them, lights flashed, sirens called out their warning, and guardbots rumbled to the attack. It was as if the slumbering beast of the reactor had been aroused, and it sought to eliminate the intruders. Even with the noise of the sirens, the incessant rattle of bullets, and all the feet pounding around him, Cloud could still hear his heart thumping away as they sprinted through the reactor. They'd just picked up the two who were stationed inside, and it was now a flat-out race for the exit. He didn't even bother drawing his sword, but let Barret fire crazily ahead with his gun arm, clearing them a path. The flashing red lights overhead blended with the shadows to lend his figure a hellish tone, almost as if he were a figure taken from nightmares. The route was scattered with metallic debris, carelessly kicked aside in the frantic rush. Cloud took a quick look at his watch – just over four minutes remaining. They'd been slowed by various doors along the way, the building seeking to trap them inside, but the two lookouts had opened them without difficulty. The only real delay had been the rescue of the girl.

He glanced at her quickly as they rounded a corner. Caught in a rusted grate, her leg had been badly gouged in his hurry to pull it free. They'd only had time to bind it roughly before moving on. She kept up with the others in their desperate race, but in the red glow he could see her lips were pulled together tightly, with only two white lines visible. Cloud refocused himself, turning back to the front where the main entrance was finally in sight. He couldn't make out anything through it, but the contrast of the darkness seemed welcoming, as if it were inviting them to be safely swallowed up in its gloom. A heavy thud behind him caught his attention. He looked back to see the girl sprawled on the metal floor. It seemed her leg had given way at last. With the others already ahead of him, Cloud swore silently, then spun around and bent down to her. He grabbed her arm and threw it over his shoulder, and together they half-ran, half-stumbled out of the enraged beast and into the night.

As if sensing their escape, Mako Reactor 7 began to rumble angrily. Letting out a deafening roar of pure fury, it consumed itself and all its surroundings in an immense burst of fire.


	6. Aftermath

The tunnel shook all around them, and the hot air escaping from the searing wind outside engulfed them, but no one said a word. Even after the aftershocks died down, all was silent. There was no doubt that the reactor had been obliterated. What remained to be seen, however, was how much had been obliterated alongside it. Cloud glanced through the debris piled up against the entrance. He could see glimpses of burning wreckage – nothing recognizable – scattered as far as he could see, each individual fire crackling away ominously in the eerie silence.

In the tunnel, one of the members eventually broke the silence.

"That should keep the planet going," he commented in a flippant tone.

Cloud wondered who he was trying to convince, himself or everyone else.

"…At least," Biggs added in a more subdued manner, "a little longer, anyway."

No one else said a word. For a successful mission, Cloud thought, it seemed more like a funeral.

"Okay!" another voice announced at the other end, "Everyone get back!"

Cloud looked over to see what was going on, and saw that the girl, had set up a small explosive against the debris on the opposite side of the tunnel to the entrance. Remembering full well the power of the one that had just gone off, he turned around quickly, covering his ears and shutting his eyes. Even so, he still heard and felt the shockwave as it went off, before being showered by metal and goodness knew what else. When it stopped, he slowly turned back in time to see the girl leap through the flames ringing the newly-formed hole. Not wanting to stay in the tunnel any longer than he had to, Cloud quickly followed suit. Rolling as he landed, he found himself in a decrepit courtyard. The concrete rising on all sides around him had crumbled over the years, as if no one had bothered to touch up or even care for this place in years. The flagstones underfoot were cracked, making the footing uneven, and exposing some of the pipes that ran throughout the city. Stairs on one side led up to the rest of the area, and light from the rusted lampposts above filtered down dimly to supplement that from the small blaze in the wall.

When everyone was through, Barret barked out the next orders.

"All right," he commanded, "now let's get out of here! Rendezvous at Sector 8 station! Split up and get on the train!"

With that, the group was off and running. Cloud, however, stayed put. He didn't want to return to their base. There was just something about it that made him feel uncomfortable, and he simply wanted to leave now that the mission was complete. But, there was still the matter of pay.

"H-Hey!" he called out to Barret's retreating back. "How about my—"

He was cut off abruptly by the reply, "If it's about your money, save it 'till we're back at the hideout!"

With that, Barret disappeared up the steps, and grinding his teeth in frustration, Cloud followed.


	7. Chance Meetings

All around him, the back streets were almost deserted

All around him, the back streets were almost deserted. The reddish-orange glow that emanated from the sector next door tinged the harsh glare of the street lamps, and accentuated the encroaching rust in the dull metal of the pipes and fixtures adorning the aging buildings. Garish posters were plastered over every available surface, the drooping corners obscuring parts of words. The streets themselves were strewn with small pieces of debris, shaken from the surrounding buildings during the explosion. As Cloud stepped out onto the main network of streets, the devastation caused was evident in the mess of crumbled buildings and the cars lying at all kinds of strange angles both on the road and the pavement. People ran about in different directions, mostly alone, many calling out the names of loved ones. Yet, in this mass of confusion, his eye was drawn to a strange calm in the middle of it. A lone girl, basket dangling on her arm, stood in the middle of the commotion observing it in quiet confusion. Pushed roughly backwards by part of the frantic mob, she fell onto the ground. Cloud started forward, but before he reached her, she had already stood up and calmly brushed herself off. Something about her made Cloud uncomfortable – not like Tifa and the way she embodied a past he wanted to leave behind, but more like the stirring of feelings _from_ that past. His instincts repulsed it, screamed at him to get away, and so he set his eyes straight ahead as he walked past, avoiding her.

A light tap on his shoulder made him turn his head. The flower girl stood there, looking up at him, as she asked politely, "Excuse me… do you know what just happened?"

His instincts were in a full-blown temper tantrum now. They wanted him to get away from this girl, to push her aside and ignore her and the feelings she brought with her. Yet, something even deeper reached out to them, something that had withered away in a time long past. Something that made him think of a quiet little village, of friends…

He blinked, quickly trying to find something else to focus on, while his mouth felt its way through the words.

"Nothing… it was nothing, really. Hey… listen... uh…"

Clearly his instincts had forgotten to give his mouth instructions. His eyes fell on the basket of flowers, and he stumbled on.

"Don't see many flowers around here…"

She lifted up her arm, holding up the basket.

"Oh, these?" she asked. "Do you like them? They're only a gil."

Keeping his attention on the flowers, he fumbled through his pocket for a coin. Holding it out, she took it and smiled at him.

"Oh, thank you! You're the first person to buy my flowers today," she said gratefully. "Here you are!"

She gave him a pale yellow flower, which still looked surprisingly fresh. He supposed the air up here was better for growing flowers than down in the slums. Then she nodded her head in thanks and walked off down the street. The raging battle inside him finally died down as she disappeared into the crowd. It was odd that a stranger could affect him so much, but at least she was gone and he could go on with his task. Moving off in the opposite direction, he felt a small twinge of sadness, but it was quickly smothered by the here-and-now of reality.

As he approached the road to the station, he saw graffiti covering the side of a building. The words almost made him laugh. It stated, in its scrawled, spray-painted glory:

" Don't be fooled by Shinra! Mako energy doesn't last forever! Mako is the planet's lifesource! The end is in sight! Protectors of the planet: AVALANCHE "

If those people were the best the planet could pull together to protect itself, it was very pathetic indeed. He wondered when they'd had time to write this. When they'd come to scout, maybe. Certainly not now. He was already late enough, as it was. He broke into a jog as he approached the station. Ahead of him he could see the tracks emerging briefly from the station before dipping back underground. But then, a cry rang out from behind. Cloud swore. In his haste, he'd missed the soldiers patrolling the area, and a guy carrying a sword as big as his would obviously seem suspect. One raised his gun, as another radioed for backup. Cloud knew he couldn't draw his sword before the guy fired, so he slowly raised his arms in the air. Backing up slowly, he saw soldiers coming from the streets on both sides of him. Behind him was the drop onto the railway tracks. He was surrounded.

"That's as far as you go," one soldier snarled, as he started advancing.

The others followed close behind, until they had formed a tight circle around him. Cloud backed up until his heels were almost hanging off the edge over the tracks. He would rather jump than be taken to ShinRa. A low rumbling beneath his feet gave him hope again. He listened carefully to it, paying no heed to the soldiers moving in to arrest him. As it reached what he hoped was its peak, he looked back at them.

"I don't have time to be messin' around with you guys," he stated flatly.

Then he turned and leapt swiftly over the edge as the train thundered out of the tunnel.


	8. Boarding Trains

He lay spread-eagled on the roof of the train, stunned by the force of the impact. The train thundered back into another tunnel, leaving the frustrated ShinRa soldiers in his wake.

_And that, _he thought with satisfaction, _is how an ex-First Class SOLDIER does it. _

Doing a quick mental check, he noted with relief that nothing was broken, just badly bruised. The next problem became evident very quickly, however, as the train headed downwards. He could feel his body beginning to slide forward on the smooth metal roof. His arms scrabbled frantically for a hold, his fingers finally gripping onto a small channel in the metal of the roof. Feeling around a bit more, he found that they were placed at regular intervals, and by shifting his feet, he could get some leverage by using them. The problem now, however, was getting _off_ the roof. Twisting his body, he shifted slowly and craned his head over to see his options.

A passenger car. With an electronically controlled sliding door. Juuuuust great. Up ahead, at the front, would be the driver's compartment, which he had even less chance of getting into. The only option he could think of would be the cargo compartments behind him. Sighing, he slowly inched his way backwards, hands and feet scrabbling for the next hold. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, his feet felt for the next groove, and found air. He'd finally reached the end of the passenger carriages, he realised with some relief. Using his hands, he lowered himself down onto the small platform that protruded from the end of the carriage. He'd landed on the end-most one, he realised, and the door had been locked. Leaning out, he tried the doors of the cargo carriage, but that too was locked, and although he tried, his arms didn't have enough strength to break them open, especially not when he was leaning out so far. Looking at the other sides, he saw a door on the left. If he climbed onto the roof, he could use his legs and kick it open, he assumed. At least it would be better than getting caught out here later.

Using the railing, Cloud clambered onto the top of the cargo car. At least this time he was facing forward, making movement a lot less awkward. Clinging to the bits of metal that protruded from the roof, he swung a leg over the side and kicked the door as hard as he could. To his surprise, it swung inwards without much resistance. Apparently, it hadn't been locked – someone up there must be smiling at him right now, he thought. He quickly turned so he was facing the door, and suspended himself by his arms. Using his legs for momentum, he swung his lower body out, then into the open door, pushing off with his arms as he did. He flew into the compartment, his body automatically going into a defensive roll as he landed. Shocked voices echoed his name, and when he looked up, he found the members of AVALANCHE staring back at him.

"Looks like I'm a little late," he said with a half-smile, trying to hide his surprise.

His attitude clearly hadn't made Barret happy, as he replied testily, "You damn right, you're late! Come waltzin' in here, making a big scene and all…"

It irritated him how Barret was trying to be the big guy, making a big fuss over it, so he replied coolly, "It's no big deal. Just what I always do."

Barret pounded his fist against a crate, obviously even more irritated. Yet there seemed to be some relief in his voice as he replied, "Shit! Havin' everyone worried like that! You don't give a damn 'bout anyone but yourself!"

It was strange, Cloud thought, how something as silly as that could make him pause. It had never occurred to him that they would actually be worried. After all, if he didn't turn up, that would be one less person to pay. Deep inside, something stirred. This feeling, of having someone worried about him, a fellow soldier who wouldn't want to leave him behind… and yet, something was wrong about it. Something that felt wrong about being with such people, because…

His mind reeled back from it, his instincts again repulsing it, pushing it away. He turned to Barret with what felt like a weak grin, and asked, "Hmm… you were worried about me?"

He could almost hear Barret's embarrassment as he stormed to the centre of the carriage, ignoring the comment.

"Wake up, ya screw-ups!" he growled. "We're movin' out! Follow me!"

Wondering where exactly they were going to go, Cloud saw that the girl, Jessie, had just picked the lock to the door he hadn't been able to get through. Standing aside, she let Barret pass through first. She also waited until Wedge and Biggs had gone through, both of them complimenting him as they left. Finally, she was the only one left in the carriage with him.

"Just wait," she said, "I'll shut the door you came in."

He stood silently as she pushed it shut, wondering why he had to wait for her to do this. She turned back to him, and her eyes widened as if only just seeing him.

"Oh Cloud, your face is pitch black!" she laughed, pulling out a handkerchief. "Just hold still a moment…"

Before he could protest, she deftly wiped his face.

"There you go!" she grinned.

The smile faded quickly as she looked down, twisting the hanky in her hands. She seemed almost at a loss for words as she continued more softly, "Say… uh… thanks for helping me back there… at the reactor… you know, with my leg and all…"

Without another word, she turned away and hurried through the door, leaving Cloud standing alone in bewilderment.

_Girls_, he thought with a sigh, before following her out.


	9. How Things Are

The noise of the train echoed hollowly in the silent cabin. Every rusty bolt and loose piece of metal could be clearly heard as each of the passengers sat stiffly on the cracked vinyl seats, acting as if no one else was on board. Barret and the rest of the group, however, bulled right through to the other end of the carriage, upon which some of the passengers immediately got up and fled. Barret didn't seem to care – instead, he flung himself down on one of the just-vacated seats, his posture finally relaxed. As Cloud walked towards them, the speakers crackled into life, and a mechanical voice announced, "Last train out of Sector 8. Last stop is Sector 7, Train Graveyard. Expected time of arrival is 12:23AM, Midgar Standard Time. Thank you for your patronage."

In the sudden return of the silence, Cloud overheard the murmurs of a young couple seated beside where he was standing. At first, he thought it was typical lovers' fare, and made to move away, but caught some of the words:

"…blowing up a reactor… they sure put some thought into this one."

"You see the headlines in the Shinra Times? It says they're based in the slums!"

"Their leader's gotta be pretty calculating. I wonder what they'll do next?"

Not particularly wanting to hear any details about the disaster they'd just wreaked, Cloud walked on toward the rest of the group. Biggs, the commando-looking guy, was leaning against a badly scratched and graffiti-ed plastic divider, the frown on this face belying his relaxed stance.

He turned to Cloud, saying softly, "It seems this train hasn't changed to security mode yet. I'm sure that'll change by tomorrow."

Cloud didn't ask any further, so he turned back, staring distantly at the floor. Across from him, Jessie and Wedge, the rotund one, huddled around a small screen. Having heard his approach, Jessie beckoned him over.

"Hey Cloud," she called in a low voice. "You want to look at this with me? It's a map of the Midgar Rail System. I'll explain it to you, if you want… I kinda like all this stuff, like bombs and monitors. You know, flashy stuff."

As he was slightly curious as to where they were, and where they were heading, Cloud moved over, edging Wedge aside to get a clear view of the small monitor.

"It's just reset," Jessie informed him. "It'll start again in a few moments."

A wire frame of the city of Midgar came up on the screen, bathing their faces in a sickly green glow.

"This is a complete model of Midgar, on a 1/10000 scale," she began.

Pointing at the large round plate resting on the top, she continued, "The top plate, here, is about 50 metres above ground."

She moved her finger to the large cylindrical item below it.  
"The main support structure holds up the plate in the centre, and there are other support structures for each of the sections."

Her voice dropped at this point, and she added, "The number one reactor we blew up was in the northern section."

Cloud nodded, but kept silent, so she kept going.

"There's also a number two reactor, and so on all the way up to the number 8 reactor, and they all provide Midgar with electricity. All the towns had names, but no one remembers them, so we just refer to them by numbers now."

She paused, shrugging.

"That's the kind of place this is, really."

Cloud knew what she meant. In a city made of metal and built on metal, the people couldn't help be cold and mechanical. As she spoke, a dotted line appeared on the map, beginning at the top plate tracing a circular path down around the main pillar.

"This is the train's route," Jessie explained.

She looked out the grimy window in the door, and said, "We're around the centre of the main pillar right now, so there'll be an ID checkpoint coming soon. It has a sensor that check our ID cards and compares them with a central database at ShinRa that has our names and backgrounds."

Again she lowered her voice, and continued, "Obviously, we're using fake IDs."

She pulled out a set of cards from her bag, keeping them out of sight of the other passengers. Cloud peered over at them, scanning through quickly, and found to his mortification that he was now an Atticus Finch.  
"What kind of names did you-?" he began, but stopped abruptly when the main lights in the cabin went off, to be replaced by flashing red lights.

"Ugh."

Jessie sounded disgusted.

"You never know what creeps'll come out when the lights go out… anyhow, we're almost back. What a relief."

The lights came back on as suddenly as they had disappeared, and Cloud, having lost interest in the screen, went and sat himself down near Barret. The guy had his head all the way back against the window, and was staring outside. He didn't move as Cloud joined him, but said quietly, in a thoughtful tone Cloud would never have expected from him, "Look… you can see the plate's surface now. This city don't have no day or night. If that plate weren't there… we could see the sky."

It must have been the tone, because Cloud found himself also turning to look at the mass of metal looming over him. Having just been standing on the other side of it, he could see in his mind the people and vehicles and buildings all occupying the plate, making up one large city on this artificial ground.

"A floating city, huh? Pretty unsettling scenery," he commented.

"Huh," Barret said, with a small nod of what could only be approval. "Never expect to hear that outta someone like you… you jes' full of surprises."

His voice rose as he worked himself up.

"It's cuz of that piece o' shit 'pizza' that people underneath are sufferin'! All the slums are full of polluted air, and on top o' that, the reactors drain up all the energy!"

Frustrated at how Barret had yet again turned a conversation into a rant, Cloud said shortly, "Then just move up onto the plate."

That pulled Barret up short. Returning to his thoughtful tone, he said, "They ain't got no money to move. And maybe… maybe they jus' love their land, no matter how polluted it gets."

Barret, too, was full of surprises, it seemed to Cloud. And he did know what it was like, to have your path decided for you, to be unable to do anything but push ahead and hope the road would be kind and not end in a sudden cliff. He could feel the emotions he had carefully stashed away welling up again, and taking a deep breath, he painstakingly ignored them.

"I know," he said with a sigh, "no one lives in the slums because they want to. It's like this train. It can't run anywhere except where its rails take it."

Barret didn't reply. For the rest of the trip, the two of them sat silently side-by-side, each lost in his own world.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this so far and been patient with me while I take such a long time to do the chapters. This one's really full of dialogue, so I'm really not sure how well it worked out. All comments and criticisms welcome, obviously! :)


	10. Old Friends

The old train stood steaming alongside the station, as conductors stood alongside the doors to ensure everyone had disembarked. Its steam rose ponderously into the air, before melding with the ever-present smog. Above them, the huge metal plate engulfed the area, and the only concept of day and night that existed was the time on the large clock that hung high on a pole on the platform. The other passengers from the train dispersed quickly, moving off into the mess of buildings that made up the slums, and soon only Cloud and the members of AVALANCHE remained.

About to move off to join them, Cloud suddenly felt a chill coming from his left, away from the slums. Looking over, he saw what could only be a graveyard for decrepit and decommissioned trains. Empty carriages were strewn all about, nothing more than shells, and all types of rusted metal lay on the ground where they had fallen off the body. It was as if Sector Seven was the dumping place for these old, unwanted pieces of junk, shoved away where they could be safely ignored as they crumbled away and eventually returned to the earth. Certainly, it seemed to be somewhere he belonged.

Barret's loud voice cut through the silence like a bulldozer.

"Yo!" he called. "Get over here, y'all!"

Cloud turned to see everyone gathering at the entrance to the slums, and made his way over. The members huddled around in a small circle, Cloud standing on the fringe but still in earshot.

"That mission was a success," Barret declared proudly. "But don't get lazy now. The hard part's still to come, so don't y'all be scared of that explosion, you hear? The next one's gonna be even bigger than that!"

He paused, and let them murmur excitedly among themselves for a moment. Then he jerked his head towards the dirt road and commanded, "Okay! Everyone meet back at the hideout! Move out!"

With that, he turned and moved quickly into the main mass of run-down buildings. After a short pause, the others followed, taking different routes. Cloud let them move off before taking yet another route back. He weaved through the simple, crude buildings, grateful that the streets were practically devoid of people at this time of night. His attention, however, kept falling back on the large pillar that supported the plate above this section. It loomed off to his right, an amazing feat of structural engineering that stood as an ominous reminder of the large gap between the people on the plate and the people below it. Although, if it ever failed, the entire garbage dump of a slum would be more than compacted. _Then_ where would all the trash go, he wondered wryly.

The sound of gunfire stopped him in his tracks, and his hand immediately went to his sword. Looking around, he saw patrons fleeing from a bar, Seventh Heaven. That gun, then, would be Barret, he assumed. He was right. Barret emerged, gun arm firing wildly into the air, and spotted him.

"Yo, Cloud! Get off that slow-movin' ass of yours and get over here now!" he demanded, before turning to another part of the area to harass some other unfortunates.

Cloud's hand, still on the sword handle, clenched tightly around it, and he had to stop himself from pulling it out and charging in at Barret. With restraint, he walked briskly through the door, firmly ignoring the man and reminding himself he was simply going to take the money and leave, so the less trouble the better. Inside, he saw a little girl, probably no more than six or so, who looked up eagerly when she heard him enter. When she saw who it was, however, her face fell and she turned and ran behind the counter. Tifa was standing there, and Cloud could see a small head peeking out from between her back and her long brown hair.

She turned her head to the girl, chiding gently, "Marlene! Aren't you going to say anything to Cloud?"

With the curtain of hair no longer over her, the girl scuttled off to the corner of the counter, where she ducked out of sight.

Tifa came around the counter, greeting Cloud with a hand on his unarmoured shoulder.

"Sorry Cloud, she's pretty shy around strangers," she explained. "But it looks like the mission went well. I'm glad to see you back in one piece."

Her voice dropped, and she looked slightly uncomfortable as she asked, "Did you fight with Barret?"

He nodded, but shrugged his shoulders to show he didn't care.

"I should have known," she said with a sigh. "He's always pushing people around, and, well, you've never been good at taking orders. You were always in fights when you were younger. I was worried."

Those days back in the village seemed so distant to Cloud, yet with Tifa right in front of him, he could feel some of the haze lifting from his own memories. All those carefree days spent with the other children, or lurking outside Tifa's house – and yet, it was as if there was an invisible wall that stood between this current him and that past him, and he was standing on the outside simply watching. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, uncomfortable at not being able to share Tifa's nostalgia over those memories, and his one of his clenched fists sank into something curiously soft. Pulling it out, he found himself holding the flower he'd bought from the girl, although it was noticeably wilted and deformed by now. In front of him, Tifa let out a surprised gasp.

"A flower? Oh, how nice… you hardly see them in the slums. But… I'm so surprised you'd buy a flower for me! You shouldn't have…" she exclaimed, her words tumbling over each other hurriedly.

It wasn't like he had any other use for it, Cloud thought, and so he proffered it to Tifa with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

"No big."

She took it, and bringing it to her nose, took a deep whiff.

"It smells beautiful," she said dreamily. "Thank you, Cloud. Hmm… maybe I should fill the store with flowers…"

Inside of him, the little boy he thought he had left behind gave a wild whoop of triumph, and the wall, the supposedly unbreachable wall, yielded slightly. And yet, there was no surge of old feelings, no rush of emotions like those the strange flower girl had so suddenly produced in him. It was simply the fulfilment of what a young boy had once thought impossible, a closure of sorts. Even so, for the first time in a very long while, or at least a long while that he could remember, he smiled.

* * *

**A/N:** Argh, doing the meeting with Tifa and trying to get into Cloud's head was hard. But I've been rereading Robin Hobb lately (an AMAZING author) which actually kind of helped... I think I kind of tend to take on the style of whoever I'm reading, so it kinda worked for this chapter.

Anyway, thank you so much to anyone who's actually read this far, and to the few people who are following this - it means a lot to me to have people who actually want to read the stuff I churn out. You guys are awesome! :)


	11. New Distance

Barret, of course, chose that very moment to barge into the bar, stomping and grumbling loudly about no-good layabouts who only knew how to get drunk. At the sound of his voice, Marlene leapt up from where she had hidden and ran to him, leaping into his arms.

"Papa!" she cried joyfully. "Welcome home!"

He swung her up onto his shoulders, spinning as he did so, and his face lit up as she giggled gleefully.

Tifa laughed along with them, before asking him, "So it went well? You're still in one piece?"

"Mmhm," he grunted in reply, before tearing his attention away from Marlene long enough to yell at the others who were gathering at the door.

"Get in here, fools! We're startin' the meetin'!"

Without a second glance, he marched over to an innocent looking pinball machine in the corner and pulled the lever on the side. A loud cacophony of creaking announced his departure as the section of floor descended slowly, carrying him and his still-laughing bundle out of sight. The others followed, albeit slower. Jessie went down first, while the boys stopped to talk to Tifa.

"You couldn't get a guy a drink, could you?" Biggs asked Tifa with a mock-charming grin.

She shook her head with a smile, but quickly mixed up something in a small glass and placed it on the counter. He tipped it down in one gulp and sat down on one of the stools with a satisfied sigh.

"Ahhh, nothing like that first drink after a job!" he said happily, gesturing Cloud over. "Why don't you have one too?"

Cloud shook his head, not wanting to get tied down with the whole buddy-buddy deal – he just wanted to be paid and be out of here. Biggs got up, polishing off the glass that Tifa had refilled for him, and stomped off to join Barret, grumbling under his breath about big-shot SOLDIERS who were too good to drink. Wedge, however, was not so easily put off.

Having grabbed some food from behind the counter, he turned to Cloud and said, "Don't worry about Biggs, he's always bothering everyone to drink."

He laughed and continued, "He hasn't stopped bothering me yet! But you know, you should really try some of Tifa's cooking, it's the best! She always lets me taste it first, so I'm so roly-poly now. It's the good food and drinks she makes that make this shop so famous, though!"

He looked like he was going to say more, but Barret's irritated roar, "Hurry the hell up, Wedge!" sounded from underneath.

Cloud almost had to laugh when the poor guy almost leapt from his seat, toppling it in the process, and hurried over to the now-waiting elevator. He, too, disappeared, leaving Cloud and Tifa alone again. Cloud certainly didn't intend to attend this 'meeting' of theirs, so he sat himself down at the counter.

"Actually," he said to Tifa, "I'll take that drink now. Give me something hard, anyone would need it after dealing with _that_ guy."

She mixed it silently, but as she served it up to him, she said in a low voice, "You know, Cloud, I'm relieved you made it back safely."

He stared at her, wondering why she would be so concerned about him, but she picked up a glass and began cleaning it intently, avoiding his gaze.

"What's with you all of a sudden?" he asked, unable to find any good reason. "That wasn't even a tough job."

He downed the glass, hardly tasting its contents, and as he set it down she replied, "I guess not, huh? You were in SOLDIER after all…"

Her voice trailed off, as if unsure of herself. The silence between them stretched awkwardly, with only the squeak of the glass she was cleaning and the rumble of voices below to fill the gap. He had no words, and found himself staring into the empty glass instead.

Finally, as if grateful to have something to say, she exclaimed, "Oh! Make sure you get your pay from Barret, okay?"

He barked out a harsh laugh. As if he would forget something like that.

"Don't worry," he said shortly, pushing the glass back to her. "As soon as I get that money, I'm outta here."

He stood up and stretched, moving to the pinball machine. The hubbub of voices had died down, and he thought it safe to go down now.

"Cloud," Tifa called.

He turned to see she was finally looking at him again, still with the worried expression on her face. She'd been like this since he arrived here at Sector 7 – almost as if she thought something was terribly wrong with him, although he wouldn't blame her, after all they'd been through. Terrible memories welled up inside him, and although it nearly made him physically sick, he forced them back down, refusing to allow the gruesome images a foothold.

Tifa gave him a probing look and asked, "Are you feeling alright?"

He nodded, putting on his best poker face and feigning ignorance.

"Why?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

She looked away again, back at the glass and cloth in her hands.

"No reason," she said softly. "You just look a little tired, I guess."

She stopped, changing the topic.

"You better go down, I think they're done now."

He pulled the lever, putting Tifa out of mind. After all, he would be leaving this all behind in a few minutes, so there wasn't much point in worrying about it. She could take care of herself. As could he. They had their own, separate lives to live, as it always had been. He could hear the heavy thud of glass against counter as the floor descended, but he refused to look back.


	12. Old Promises

Everyone was relaxing as Cloud rode the slow, creaky elevator into the room. Jessie was tapping away intently at the computer, the rhythm of the keys supported by the steady drumming of Barret on the patched and battered punching bag. Biggs and Wedge were sprawled on the floor, presumably from the aftereffects of too much alcohol and too much food respectively.

Wedge managed to rise as Cloud stepped into the room, grabbing his hand and shaking it wildly.

"I wanted to tell you this before, Cloud, but I didn't get the chance! You were great back there! You'll be working with us on the next mission, right? But man, don't you ever get nervous? Or are you, like, impervious to feelings? Naw…"

Cloud pulled his hand away, sure that the excessive shaking must have dislodged something, and Wedge's voice trailed off. Cloud gave him a quick shrug of the shoulders, then turned away before the guy could ramble on any further. Jessie, who had turned around in time to see most of the scene, gave him a knowing smile, almost as if to apologise for him. He gave a small smile in return, feeling as if it was expected of him.

"Did you see the news, Cloud?" she asked. "It was a huge blast, and a lot of Sector One was wiped out… think it was all because of my little bomb?"

Unsure of what she expected him to say, he replied cautiously, "I suppose it was… but–"

She cut him off, clearly distressed.

"But all I really did was make it like the computer told me! It shouldn't have been so big! Oh no! I must've made a miscalculation somewhere! All those people… because I… I…"

The look of pain on her face almost made him want to go over and console her.

"I don't think it was you," Cloud said gently, continuing from where she'd cut him off. "I think it set off some kind of chain reaction in the reactor."

"I better check my calculations anyway," she sighed. "It'd be terrible if I messed up the bomb for Sector Five tomorrow."

She turned back to the computer, fingers flying over the keys again, and Cloud turned gratefully to Barret.

"So," he began, "about the payment for today…"

"Jus' hold on a sec, Cloud," Barret said, holding up a hand. "I wanna ask you somethin' first."

He held back a sigh. A delaying tactic, probably.

"What is it?" he asked testily.

"Was there anyone from SOLDIER fighting us today?" Barret questioned intently.

Cloud stifled a disdainful sneer. Was this guy joking?

"None," he said firmly. "If there was anyone from SOLDIER there today, I promise you you wouldn't be standing here now."

Barret paused, a slightly offended look crossing his face.

"Don't go thinkin' yer so bad jes' cuz you was in SOLDIER," he growled.

Cloud simply stared at him, eyebrows slightly raised, unable to find the words to express his disbelief of the guy. Barret, of course, took it as a sign to continue.

"Yeah, you're strong," he conceded, "probably all them guys in SOLDIER are. But don't forget yer skinny ass is workin' for AVALANCHE now! Don't get no ideas 'bout hangin' on to Shinra, ya hear?"

This guy was simply too dense for words. When the hell had the guy gotten the idea Cloud was working for them?! Not to mention, his idiotic belief that Cloud was still clinging to Shinra like a baby to its mother – the thought of even being connected to Shinra stirred up a terrible disgust inside him, though he didn't know exactly why.

"You asked a question and I answered it," he said tersely, his mind appending the word 'idiot' to the statement. "That's all. I'm going upstairs. I want to talk about my money."

Fuming, he called the lift down, ignoring the stares of the other members. Everyone here sure liked to talk, well, now they had something to talk about. The creaking halted, and Tifa stepped into the room.

"I heard raised voices," she said, the question in her eyes.

Cloud didn't reply, stepping silently onto the platform. She grabbed his arm, but he twisted it out of her grip.

"Tifa!" Barret snapped. "Let him go! Looks like he still misses the Shinra!"

That was it. Cloud snapped.

"Shut up!" he yelled, turning to face him. The same disgust rose through his throat and out his mouth before he could stop it.

"I don't give a shit about either Shinra or SOLDIER!"

The two words were practically spat out, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. He paused to swallow it down, but then, not wanting this thick-head to twist the meaning, he added, "But don't get me wrong! I don't care about AVALANCHE or the Planet either!"

He all but jammed the lever down, leaving the shocked silence hanging in the air as the lift rose out of sight.

The lift rose again as he sat waiting on a bar stool. He didn't want to still be here, but he'd be damned if he was going to leave without his money. The lift creaked into motion again, and he looked up, expecting it to be Barret with the pay. Instead, Tifa rose from the ground, the worry on her face even more pronounced. He supposed Barret had sent her up with it instead, not wanting to see him. But as the lift rose further, he noticed her hands were empty.

She walked over to him, and pleaded, "Listen, Cloud. I'm asking you, please join us. We need you."

She laid a hand on his as he shook his head.

"Sorry, Tifa…" he apologised, moving to stand up.

"The Planet is dying!" she said passionately. "Slowly but surely it's dying. Someone has to do something!"

"So let Barret and his buddies do something about it," he snapped, feeling the remnants of his anger.

Tifa shrank back, and he gave her an apologetic look before turning away.

"It's got nothin' to do with me."

The room suddenly felt incredibly stuffy, and he walked over to the doors to get some fresh air.

"So! You're really leaving?!" she exclaimed indignantly.

Her tone made him pause.

"You're just going to walk out, ignoring your childhood friend?!"

Unbidden, a small lump rose in his throat, but he refused to turn around.

Instead, he apologised again.

"Sorry…" he said softly, voice trailing off.

Tifa, too, dropped her voice.

"And you forgot the promise, too," she said, and he could hear her hurt.

He turned around.

"Promise?" he asked, trying to think of everything he'd said to her since he'd arrived here.

She looked down, fingers twisting in her skirt.

"So you _did_ forget," she said, her head still down. "Don't you remember at all, Cloud? Seven years ago…"

Seven years ago... that would be back in Nibelheim, where they'd grown up together. Seven years ago, about the time when he was leaving it all behind. Seven years ago, when he was still full of hopes and dreams for the future. Seven years ago, when Tifa was still a big part of his life. And from there, the memory rose to the surface of his consciousness. A clear, chilly night, and a meeting on top of a well...

* * *

**A/N:** Whew, there's the next part for your reading pleasure. Criticisms are definitely welcome, if there's anything you don't like. :) Anyway, big memory scene coming up next, so stay tuned!


	13. Old Memories

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay! Hopefully this chapter is an improvement over the others, having been beta-d by the most awesome La Editor. Thank you! And to Elizel, thanks for commenting! It means a lot to me! :)

* * *

Cloud sat on top of the town's old well, his heart rapidly sinking. He checked his watch again. It was already five whole minutes past the time in his note, and still no sign of Tifa. He shivered slightly as the breeze stirred the cold night air, and wrapped his numb fingers tightly around his arms. Maybe she wasn't going to come… there was no reason for her to, after all. He stared listlessly at the sky, trying to remember why he thought she would bother. No reason came to mind.

He heard a noise, like maybe a footstep on the ladder, and his spirits bounced right back. Craning his head forward, he eagerly peered over the edge. He squinted, barely able to make out any shapes in the dim light from the sky. However, the shape he did want to see, the ascending head of brown hair, was most definitely not there. Inside, his heart clenched tightly, and he let out a frustrated sigh. Of course she wouldn't come. She never saw him any differently to the other boys in town.

He stared back up at the sky, at the multitude of stars shining overhead, and looked for a shooting star. Wasn't there even _one_ star in that whole sea just for him? All he needed was a single wish. Intent on finding one, he became so absorbed that the hand that touched his shoulder gave him a fright. Tifa's voice came from above him.

"Sorry I'm late," she said.

He spun his head around and to his joy, she was standing right next to him, an amused smile playing across her face.

She sat down beside him and asked, "You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

This was it. This was the moment when he would stand out, make her see him differently.

"Come this spring," he started, then paused to amplify the effect of his next words.

"Come this spring… I'm leaving this town for Midgar."

His heart leapt when he saw the disappointment on her face. Maybe he was important, after all! Splinters from the rotting wooden planks bit into his palms as he gripped the edge of the platform tightly, his heart pounding. Thoughts zoomed round his head, blocking out coherent thought, and he waited with barely contained excitement for her reply.

After a tense moment, she said quietly, "…All the boys are leaving our town."

His internal celebration came screeching to an abrupt halt, and he tried not to let his own disappointment show. Instead, he put on a bluff bravado, in the hopes she could see how unique he really was.

"But I'm different from all of them," he said confidently. "I'm not just going to find _any_ job."

He stood up, brandishing an imaginary sword.

"I want to join SOLDIER," he explained, fighting off equally imaginary enemies.

That should impress her, he thought, but to be sure, he added, "I'm going to be the best there is, just like Sephiroth!"

"Sephiroth …" she repeated after him, "the Great Sephiroth…"

He wasn't able to read her feelings, but excitement had built up inside him, and he continued to fight his foes to the very top of the well. He dispatched the last of them with a grand flourish, and posed triumphantly, one hand tightly clutching the edge.

"Hehe, how was that?"

There was no reply, and when he looked down at her, he realised she wasn't even looking. Not happy that his grand moment had been missed, he sat down sullenly, wondering how he would stand out to her now. After a time, she spoke, still staring off into the distance.

"Isn't it hard to join SOLDIER?"

"Well… I probably won't be able to come back to this town for a while," he said knowingly. "I mean, you have to train really hard every day if you want to be the best."

She tilted her head back to look at him.

"Will you be in the newspapers if you do well?"

"I'll try," he replied, silently making a vow that he was going to be big news once he was over there. He was already better than all of the boys in town, so it shouldn't be very hard.

"Hey," Tifa said with a smile, "why don't we make a promise?"

He nodded, excited. Promises meant big things between two people. Maybe she _had_ seen him fight after all! She thought for a while, lips pursed and forehead crinkled. Cloud, looking down at her, couldn't draw his eyes away.

"Umm… if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind… you come save me, all right?"

He hadn't expected anything like that. A promise to meet again, maybe, or even to – he swallowed here – to wait for each other. So, he said the first thing that popped into mind.

"What?"

She laughed, then rephrased, "Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me! I want to experience that at least once."

He heard the words, but his brain was still too surprised to process it. Heroes? Didn't they rescue damsels in distress? Tifa definitely wasn't that type, he was sure of that. And yet, if she called him her 'hero', that could only be a good thing…

"Come on," she said, impatience in her voice. "Promise me!"

"O-Oh, all right… I promise."

He looked down at her smiling face, and couldn't help but return it. The disappointment from the start of the night was wiped away with it, as were the stars shining over them.

After all, who needed stupid shooting stars, anyway?


	14. New Employee

**A/N:** I'm sorry for the long delay! Uni and graduations really take a lot of time! I just want to shout out to my most awesome beta, LaEditor - check out her stuff if you have the chance, because it's amazing! :)

* * *

A torrent of emotions flooded through Cloud before disappearing again. Like a sudden strong wind, they threw him off-balance, before disappearing into the slipstream. Disappointment, nervousness, excitement, joy, love… he wanted so badly to feel them again as he had that night, yet they left as quickly as they had come.

Tifa stared at him expectantly.

"You remember now?" she asked, almost eagerly. "Our promise?"

Looking at her, he almost wished he could truly share it with her. But now that the fleeting moment had passed, it was all in his head. The 'him' standing here couldn't revive those feelings. It almost seemed like it wasn't him.

He wasn't quite sure why, but thinking of the promise put a sour, rankling taste in his mouth. He suddenly felt no need to continue the conversation.

"I'm not a hero and I'm not famous," he stated bluntly. "So, I can't keep…"

Here, his voice involuntarily faded, and he looked away.

"I can't keep… the promise."

He shifted his weight, suddenly restless to leave, but Tifa interrupted him.

"But-- but, you got your childhood dream, didn't you? You joined SOLDIER!"

At those words, an overwhelming sense of shame overcame him. He tried to pinpoint the source, yet it seemed to be from the same source as the bile rising in his throat. He stared down at the floor, trying to gather his scattered thoughts.

Of _course_ he had joined SOLDIER, and there was no shame in that. He'd been one of the elite, and even worked alongside Sephiroth. But maybe that was it. That incident at Nibelheim. He has failed his responsibility as the only other SOLDIER there.

Tifa's voice intruded into his thoughts.

"So come on!" she said, a note of pleading in her tone. "You've got to keep your promise…"

He wanted to tell her to leave him alone, to just leave off on that stupid promise because it wasn't worth anything.

"Look, Tifa," he began.

"Wait a sec, big-time SOLDIER!"

The voice came from the narrow 'elevator' shaft, and it was unmistakably Barret's. Clearly, he still wouldn't shut up about the SOLDIER thing.

"A promise is a promise!" the big man said, his heavy boots thudding on the bar's wooden floor as he leapt off the elevator wires. "Here!"

Cloud turned to see a small bag flying straight at his face, and he barely had time to get his hand up before it hit. He grabbed at it, fingers barely closing around the top of the bag. He was about to snap at Barret for throwing rubbish at him, when he realised what promise he'd been talking about. It was the pay that he'd mentioned before the mission, although in almost no detail, not even the amount. The bag dangled in his grasp, and he quickly opened it up and counted the money.

Fifteen hundred gil. Fifteen hundred lousy gil for all of that. That mission was worth at least double that. What the hell were these people, a charity case? Well, he definitely didn't do charity. He was about to walk out the door and tell them to go stuff it, but his glance fell on Tifa. She was staring intently at him, waiting for his reply, eyes troubled and brow furrowed as if she carried the weight of the world. It was a very grown-up Tifa, burdened by cares and worries, a far cry from the girl he remembered waiting for. He picked his next words carefully.

"This is what I'll be getting paid?" he asked incredulously. "Don't make me laugh."

He snuck a peek at Tifa's face. Her eyes were wide open, and he could see her old spark flickering in them. It wasn't exactly a warm, fuzzy feeling that welled up inside him, but it wasn't bad, either.

"What? You mean that you'll…?"

She almost seemed afraid to complete the sentence, so he made it clear.

"You got the next mission lined up?" he asked Barret, keeping his tone casual. "I'll do it for three thousand gil."

He'd wanted to say five thousand gil, but knowing these people, they probably didn't even have that much money.

"What…?!" Barret exclaimed, his face turning red and outraged etched into his features.

Tifa put a hand on his arm – his gun-arm, Cloud noted with relief. The last thing he wanted was for the guy to blow his top and fill this place – and him – with holes. They had a quick whispered conversation, Barret throwing dirty glares at Cloud the whole while. Tifa said something that seemed to deflate him, and he stomped over to Cloud.

"Two thousand!"

He almost spat out the words, his body in something close to a fighting stance, gun-arm slightly raised and face stubbornly set.

Cloud was about to take him up on that dare, when Tifa came up behind Barret and smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks, Cloud," she said, stepping in front of Barret.

He opened his mouth to ask her who she thought he was, and whether she thought he was running a charity, but her look of naked relief made him close it again.

_I should learn to just say no_, he grumbled to himself, as he nodded curtly at her and walked out the door to get away from them.

Yet he knew, as he wandered around the slums, that the other reason he'd stayed had nothing to do with Tifa. It was because Barret had kept_ his_ promise, even if he had skimped on the pay, and there was no way that he, Cloud Strife, would _ever_ let him be the better man. No matter how many thousands of gil it cost him.


End file.
